so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
