He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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