And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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