just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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