Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
