Don't you send me to vm
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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