I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
