I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
