Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
