just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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