that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
