thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize