I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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