just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
40s are totally the cure
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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