her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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