your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
