How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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