I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
