I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
