what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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