Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
