Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
