just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
