Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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