do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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