Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
