in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
