His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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