Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
