About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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