And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
