There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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