I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize