i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love you. Go after that dick
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
