Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
