please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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