thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
