im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am available for nakedness
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
