Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
