Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
