i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
