Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
