it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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