so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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