Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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