He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
