it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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