What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
