fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize