Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just gargled with NyQuil
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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