I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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