So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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