He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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