he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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