I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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