Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize